Are you rushing your child's development?

In 1981, psychologist David Elkind wrote a book called "The Hurried Child." He stated that kids are being turned into adults too quickly, and described the traumas of kids forced prematurely into grown-up activities and roles.

The Hurried Child mindset has slowly but surely taken over youth sports as well. Many parents have felt the urgency of seeing their kids get better more quickly, and in their rush to push kids towards athletic success, they push their kids away from sports.

They say that when you rush something, you usually mess it up. The same applies for rushing a child’s development in a sport. When coaches and parents try to create a good player without first creating a good athlete, it’s like putting the cart before the horse. It seems the minute a kid shows promise or some talent, the focus quickly switches from development to winning and competing.

The answer to avoiding the Hurried Athlete Syndrome is pretty simple:

• Variety. Have your kids try different sports to develop many athletic skills and most importantly, to have fun. To be a great player, you must first be a great athlete.
• Free Time. Time magazine notes: “Kids who once had childhoods now have curriculums; kids who ought to move with the lunatic energy of youth now move with the high purpose of the worker bee.” Don’t schedule every minute of your kids’ lives. Be sure they have plenty of time to just be kids.
• Encourage Play. When kids don’t play freely, they miss out on self-discovery and exploration. Brian McCormick, author of "Cross Over: The New Model of Youth Basketball Development," says that when kids only develop in a scheduled environment, they are in an atmosphere of pleasing parents and coaches rather than playing for the sake of playing. The result, says McCormick, is that many athletes quit at an early age because the sport loses its fun.
• Wait. If your child continues playing and truly loves the game, there will be a time in his athletic development when training and specialized coaching are appropriate and in fact, very beneficial. Unfortunately, more and more, parents seek this specialized training before their child plays the sport and develops the desire to train to be a better player.

How often do we as parents see our kids push to get what they want now? Adults do the same thing, I fear, when we hurry the process to see our kids improve, excel, and achieve success. Let’s purpose to enjoy the journey more and rush our kids less.

       

Janis B. Meredith, sports mom and coach's wife, writes a sports parenting blog called jbmthinks.com. Her new booklet 11 Habits for Healthy and Positive Sports Parents is available on Amazon.