The Sports Parent's Code of Conduct for Losing

Thank the coaches and referees for their work. No matter the outcome of the game, the refs and coaches did their job and gave their best effort.

Be gracious to the winner. If you know the winning team, then make a point to congratulate them. If you don’t, then you can go out of your way to shake a player’s or coach’s hand.

Don’t talk trash the opposing team. Or coaches, or refs, or teammates.

Let your kids lose in peace. Choose words after the loss that won’t stir up frustration or self-recriminations. In other words, it is best to empathize, instead of critique.

Stay positive. Negative attitudes are contagious and it is your role as a parent to attempt to remain positive.

Look for small victories. Find the wins within the losses.

Avoid the blame game. It’s the refs’ fault! If only Johnny wasn’t such a ball hog. It’s your coach’s fault; he was outcoached.

Don’t keep going over the loss. Learn from mistakes and move on. There’s no need to bemoan a loss and make it a bigger deal than it is.

Don’t make light of losing. The loss may have deeply disappointed your child. Accordingly, don’t try to diminish his feelings of grief, which are very real to him.

Sometimes we make mountains out of molehills when it comes to losing.

Mixed martial artist Conor McGregor has a healthy perspective regarding failure. He says, “It’s not really that much of a big deal–you brush it off and you come back. Defeat is the secret ingredient to success.”

Janis B. Meredith, sports mom and coach’s wife, writes a sports parenting blog called jbmthinks.com. Her new book 11 Habits for Happy and Positive Sports Parents is on Amazon.