5 ways to react when your child wants to quit the team

Kids play youth football to have fun. If your child wants to quit, they must not be having fun. It might be because of the coach or the other players. Maybe your child feels inferior comparted to the skill level of teammates. If playing flag or tackle football for the first time, it might be as simple as not liking the sport after all, or the contact involved in it. The enthusiasm demonstrated in the backyard might not carry over to the actual playing field.

So how do we parents react?

1. Find out why

Try to find out why your child wants to quit. Talk to your child and the coach. Sometimes it even helps to talk to other parents who might have encountered similar situations with their children.

2. Is quitting a viable option?

If it turns out your child simply doesn't want to continue, you might be in for a miserable few months that are not worth the money you spent (but be sure to ask for a refund if you quit early in the season). For the sake of everyone involved, including the coaches and teammates, it might be best just to let your child quit. But quit with some sort of consequence. The type of consequence will depend on the age and maturity of the child.

3. Filling other roles

In an effort to teach responsibility, depending on the age of the child, you might suggest they still attend the games to support the team. Maybe an option is to serve another role on the team, such as the manager or scorekeeper. This eliminates the misery from practicing and playing, but still teaches them to follow through on a commitment to the team.

4. Helping “pay back” registration fees

If serving in another role is not a feasible option, another “lesson” is to have your child do chores around the house to help pay back your non-refundable investment. For a younger child, this might be cleaning a bedroom or setting the dinner table. For an older one, cutting the grass or washing the car might be a reasonable compromise. Volunteer work might also be an option.

5. Offer one last chance to stay on the team

Don't forget to review the “consequence” options with your child before the final decision is made. They might decide to stick it out after all.

Quitting any activity is always a tough decision for the parent and the child. Making sure it doesn’t become an “easy out” season after season is one of the most important outcomes of handling the first time it becomes an issue.  

Even as adults, we’ve all started things and then wanted to quit, but maybe stuck it out because at an early age we learned there are usually consequences for pulling out of something before it is scheduled to end.

This circumstance doesn’t just have to be a lesson in sports, but can also be a lesson for life.

Jon Buzby has been involved in and writing about youth sports for the past 30 years, originally as a coach and board member with his now-adult son and most recently "just as a dad" with his 8- and 10-year-old sons. Jon is an award-winning writer and his latest book, “Coaching Kids Made Easier,” is available on Amazon. Send comments or future blog topics you'd like to see to JonBuzby hotmail.com and follow him  YouthSportsBuzz