Helping your child beat the negativity in his mind

The negativity can come from a variety of places. It could be a coach who does not believe in your child, a teammate who makes fun of your child or another parent who puts the coach down in front of your child.

Here’s how you can help your child get rid of the negativity in their mind.

Distinguish between things your child can and cannot control. Help your child to understand that there are things he cannot change and it’s okay to let them go. Examples include: the score, the officials’ calls, teammates’ mistakes, opponent’s cheap shots or the bad attitudes of other players.

Encourage your athlete to set personal goals. What does he need to work on and how does he plan to achieve it? Talk about how to measure those goals.

Focus on performance rather than on results. With your encouragement, your child can feel good about his hard work and his small victories, even if he isn’t getting a lot of encouragement from the coach or team.

Let your young athlete vent his frustrations without your commentary.When he’s just venting, he doesn’t need your lectures or coaching. He just needs you to listen.

Negative attitudes are contagious and can kill team spirit. As a parent, you are a major influence in keeping your child’s positivity up. If you sense a negative spirit in your child, look for a chance to sit down and talk through it. Don’t ignore it and let it fester. That negative mindset will do nothing to help your child play his best.

Janis B. Meredith, sports mom and coach’s wife, writes a sports parenting blog called jbmthinks.com. Her new book 11 Habits for Happy and Positive Sports Parents is on Amazon.